So much play, not enough time. A quick look at breath control, mindfuck, etc.
Breath control, abductions, simulated rape, take downs, resistance play–there are so many kinks, so many ways to practice BDSM that it is impossible to list all of them here. We would like to mention a couple specifically because of their popularity or risk.
Breath control can be a very hot exploration of control, power, and trust. When negotiating breath play, it’s important to get the details, because this can refer to anything from using a hand to cover the mouth and nose to restricting the throat to gas masks and very controlled limitation on breathing. Done carefully, breath play can be sexy. Done carelessly, it can result in long-term damage or even death. If you are negotiating breath play, you may also need to negotiate a “safe action” rather than a safeword (if you can’t breathe, you can’t speak!) Dropping a ball you’re holding, flexing all your fingers three times or any other action not expected in a scene can all work.
It is important to understand that this is a form of play where oxygen deprivation itself can impair a bottom’s judgment. Delayed reactions due to drugs and alcohol can have fatal consequences.
Autoerotic asphyxiation gets a lot of press and is the practice of raising the carbon dioxide levels in the blood at the moment of orgasm. If you are into breath play, find an experienced partner with whom to play and learn.
Mindfuck is a great part of SM, whether it’s keeping your partner guessing about what will happen next, or taking them deeper into their fears and anxieties with abduction, rape or other edgy scenes. Keep in mind that some mindfuck play will uncover hidden triggers, and bring forth powerful emotions. Careful preparation and recognition of dangers to mental and physical well-being will prevent that bottom from going totally out of control and being hurt or hurting you.
For most SM, and especially very involved scenes, it just makes sense to find out what you can from experienced players before diving in. Thinking about the physical safety, emotional concerns and health risks involved before playing will go along way to ensuring that you have hot, safe SM.